


Always In The Shadows

by jakia



Series: Essek Week [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Essek Week 2020, Family Drama, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jakia/pseuds/jakia
Summary: Verin has always been in Essek’s shadow; Essek has always been in his mother’s[Prompt: Shadows for Essek Week 2020. Gen, one shot]
Relationships: The Mighty Nein & Essek Thelyss
Series: Essek Week [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682107
Comments: 4
Kudos: 133
Collections: Essek Week





	Always In The Shadows

Verin grew up in Essek’s shadow.

It wasn’t intentional; younger brothers often bear the weight of expectations created by their older siblings, especially by their parents. But in Verin’s case, it was always even more difficult because his older brother is a prodigy, and Verin is-- _not_.

(“Your brother could complete this equation in less than a minute,” his tutors told him, the first time he was introduced to an advanced math problem. “Surely you can complete it in ten.”)

Was it any wonder he turned to violence as a way to deal with his frustrations? He wasn’t smart, like Essek, and he never would be, but he could hit things, and he could hit them well. Besides, the Dynasty always had need of soldiers, and their father had been a soldier, high enough in rank to earn the attention of a  _ umavi _ like their mother. There is no shame in being a soldier, although he knows Essek and their mother both get frustrated sometimes, by Verin’s own lack of ambition. 

(He and his brother are  _ nothing _ alike.)

Verin will go where he is told to and he will do as the Dynasty asks of him, and he may never be a Shadowhand or a member of the Bright Queen’s court, but that is okay, because Essek has done those things. Essek is Mother’s favorite child, her heir apparent, and while Verin disagrees with Essek a whole lot (about  _ everything _ , really) he knows his brother’s intentions are--not  _ good _ , necessarily, but important. He will be a good Denfather one day, or so Verin hopes, and so he doesn’t complain too much. Even if he doesn’t agree with Essek, he knows the fault is likely on himself, that he’s too stupid to see Essek’s plan, 2000 steps in advance.

Which is why it’s so strange, when he learns that his brother has left.

_ You must come home immediately _ , his mother wrote to him, and he feared for the worst.  _ It concerns your brother. _

His brother wasn’t dead, but he might as well be, as far as their mother was concerned. Essek had, apparently, quit his job. Sold his house. And  _ left  _ the  _ Dynasty _ , to go  _ adventuring _ with that “band of  _ miscreants _ ” known as the Mighty Nein. 

“After all of that  _ time _ and  _ money _ , wasted,” his mother complains, dismayed at Essek’s choices. “The highest quality of tutors. The finest education. The number of  _ people _ I  _ bribed  _ to look the other way when he made mistakes--”

“Why did he leave?” Verin wonders, marveled at this turn of events. This is so unlike Essek, such a surprising turn of events, that Verin wonders, briefly, if he ever knew his brother at all, or if all he ever knew was a shadow.

“I don’t know,” Mother complains, rubbing her temples. “Something about  _ finding himself _ and  _ needing to make amends to the people who matter. _ Who knows what he was thinking? He’s clearly mad.”

Was he, though? If he felt so strongly about it to abandon the life he built, it must have been important. Important to Essek, at least, even if no one else understood it.

Once again, Verin wonders what his brother’s plan is, and if this is merely step three hundred out of two thousand, something that won’t make any sense until it reaches the end of whatever game Essek is playing.

“Regardless,” his mother continues without giving him much time to think. “You are my only hope now, Verin. I need you to move back to Rosohna for the time being. I’ve arranged for you to take over for Taskhand Adeen, and you’ll report directly to Dusk General Quana in the morning, so do make sure you are dressed nicely. Stop slouching. Tomorrow, you will--”

Verin realizes, suddenly, that while he spent most of his life living in Essek’s shadow, that Essek must have spent his life living in  _ her’s _ .

For a brief moment, he closes his eyes, ignoring his mother’s voice, and sends a prayer to the Luxon on Essek’s behalf.  _ May you finally be happy, out of the shadows and into the light. _


End file.
